Fostering is a family affair
For the past 18 years Lara has been a foster carer, opening up her heart and family home to local children. And if that wasn’t enough, she’s also inspired her mum to follow in her footsteps.
Lara has welcomed over 40 foster children into her life over the years. She has her own birth daughter and she’s also adopted one of the children she fostered. Lara explained: “Sophie initially came to me for two weeks and 18 years later she’s still here. The plan was she’d be adopted, but this fell through, so when she came back to me, aged four, I made the decision to adopt her myself”.
For Lara, 47, the decision to become a foster carer came about after speaking to a family friend who fostered. “After I spoke to her and found out about her experience as a foster carer, I thought to myself ‘I could do that too’,” Lara explained. Lara’s experience of becoming a foster carer was straightforward and she was approved within six months. Since then she hasn’t looked back.
For 13 years Lara’s parents, Eileen and John, supported her while she fostered a number of children. Then five years ago, with encouragement from Lara, Eileen, 71, decided to become a full time foster carer.
Eileen explains: “I used to look after siblings that would come to me a couple of nights a week after school, to give their full time foster carers a short break and now, as I’m getting a little older, I tend to look after babies.”
Eileen says: “I feel it’s important that babies have lots of love and they need cuddles. The stand out bit of fostering for me is when children move on for adoption. Usually I can look after a baby for about 9 – 10 months, but this varies and sometimes they go back to their families, it can be hard.”
Sometimes Eileen will receive information on how the babies are doing and she recently received a footprint canvas from one that had moved on. A simple but kind acknowledgement of her time looking after the child. “It was a lovely gift, very thoughtful,” Eileen said.
Both mother and daughter agree that by experiencing fostering together, it has bought their family closer, as they spend more time together and support one another where possible. Lara concedes that as a single mother it has been difficult at times, but her mum has always been involved with all the children that have come into her life.
Another key part of their experience as a family, and of making the new foster children welcome, has been Lara’s own birth daughter. Lara explains: “My daughter has always played a significant part in the foster children’s experience of coming into our home, of opening it up to them. And she’s never been jealous that she’s had to share her mum with others.”
Lara has fostered children of all ages, boys and girls, and from her experiences she says: “It’s difficult to pinpoint one memory from the years I have been doing this, as you find that there is something special with every child that comes to you.”
The one thing that Eileen and Lara agree about their experiences, is the satisfaction that they both get from being foster carers, knowing that they have been able to help the children that have come into their lives and been part of their family.
“It’s so rewarding, especially when you see a big change in the children that come into your care,” says Lara. If either of them could give anyone thinking about fostering a piece of advice it would be: “Just go and look into it. It’s a really positive, life changing experience and you won’t look back”.
Nottinghamshire County Council is looking for caring and loving foster carers just like Lara and Eileen. If you are interested, visit the fostering pages on our website or call 0300 500 80 80 for more information.
